i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
I accidentally sent a snap of my puss with the Republican filter... Totally killed his boner
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Tinder has really served to stimulate the number of sex related demons summonings.
Randomize
