I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
I woke up (not at home) to find out I kissed Ryan Caberra, flashed for free gumbys and carried around an inflatable moose named Johnson. Great success.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Can I just text her like "yo sorry I fucked your boyfriend, let's go get sushi" or like nah
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
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