please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
Pride was great cause we really can now appreciate how far we've come as gay people!
Doll, if you're still fucking strangers behind the WeHo Sonic while high on E then we've come as far as 2003...
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
You need to come back and get me. This is not a jersey shore party and he is not dressed as Pauly D and I am about one shot away from hooking up with a real fist pumping Guido.
17 year olds will be the death of me.
MOMMMMMMMMMMAYYY! YOU BIRFED ME TODAYY. IM CELEBRTIN ON YUR BEHAF! THANK YOU!!!!!
I always hoped you would never inherit this side of my personality. Hon, trust me, you're a mess. Go to bed...alone. xoxoxo
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
I told you all we needed steroids to survive the tour de franzia, like the bikers. But nobody listened...
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
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