I got to see an enormous amount of vagina this morning.
i love accidental penises.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
When they send me to rehab, I'm screaming your name down the halls.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
Just because you haven’t had your UTI yet doesn’t mean you have a right to talk like Yoda
Randomize
