She said her name was "party"
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
We are NOT roofying him just to get him to pass out so we can build a masive snow cock in his yard.
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
he's singing something in russian and knocking over my plants with his dick, get his drunk ass out of my apartment
HE STUCK IT IN THE FISHBOWL WTF
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
He's finally divorcing her, so naturally he tells me that we're not exclusive anymore. His penis 'wants what it wants' apparently.
we cut you off when you started chasing with your slim fast shake
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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