I've thrown up so many times in the third floor bathroom of Baldwin that they should probably just go ahead and name it after me.
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
Nothing quite like coming out of an alcohol induced blackout walking down Spruill Avenue carrying a silver briefcase full of IT tools you don't know where they came from. This is my life.
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Just got hit on via LinkedIn..do I capitalize on this opportunity/land a job or reply something sassy
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Randomize