new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
There's a mouse. In the house. By the cans. With some pans. Release the cat. To eat his hat. Sorry about the mess. Of my breakfest.
No but seriously, there's a fucking mouse in the house by the beer cans
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
We're having play-off hate sex for a sport I don't even understand. Go USA!
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
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