just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Do you think we could brew coffee with beer? I'm thinking a hazelnut Guinnesspresso can only end with pure awesome.
Why do guys insist on chatting me up this early in the morning? I'm just like "Dude, I look like the bastard child of Einstein and a troll doll. Let me eat my Hot Pocket in peace."
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
Ya’ll! My debit card got switched with my boss’ at lunch today (both Red Wells Fargo)....I realized it at whole foods AFTER I ran it for $100 at Vanity Room getting my vaj waxed 🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️🤦🏻♀️. Most awkward IOU ever tomorrow.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
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