she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
This kid is too lonely to be my drug dealer.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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