I use a guy for sex and get three minutes out of him. go figure
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
Just so you know swallowing does not help chest colds. Your Phd can suck my dick
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
I will give you 100$, a blow job a day for a month and I will shave my legs according to societal standards until next November if you come recuse me from my night class right NOW.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
Because I'm sitting in a bath of my own wisdom and drowning my sorrows in coconut rum
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
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