Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Randomize
