I thidmdmk you'gre a special person
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I woke up to him eating me out, listening to classical music.
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
whatever happens this semester dont let me be that girl yacking in the urinal. again.
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
thanks for the 52 voicemails of you and crystal reciting the pleg of allegance
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
Bought a gym bag tonight. Used it to bring my Taco Bell in the house.
Yeah yeah I know I have to bring your dog back.
I'm sorry for getting drunk and throwing a robo-bird at you.
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