I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
mom took my condoms, found one in the trash the next day
I know she was great
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
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