so i had a choice between studying for my physics test on fluid dynamics or spend the night with my girlfriend. hello doubletasking.
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I cut my penus on the lid.
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
Some might say its sad that I am willingly picking up a coke habit to be the skinniest bridesmaid... I think it shows my great dedication and proves I should have been maid of honor.
The less fucks you give, the more fucks you get. Kinda like "a penny saved is a penny earned" but with vagina.
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
I have this rep as a wingman for a reason. I'm like a poon caddy. "You might want to use a 9 iron on this hole. "
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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