Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
I'm starting a point system. For every 2 beer runs i do for u slackers i get a free bottle of Barefoot.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
Dude, you need to come and get her. She's sitting on the bathroom floor making hearts with her menstrual blood. And remind me never to let her do jello shots again
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Do you think Ashley had her twin sister tag in for our date? The sex was different and I think a mole was missing
Randomize
