only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
Very nice. It looks like a Fisher-Price My First Dildo, but still very nice.
He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
It's not that drunk me is smarter; it's that sober me is secretly playing for the other team.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
College: when you have to set an alarm to start drinking
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
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