Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
When I woke up I had three missed calls from the name 'dream krystals'.... If I remember correctly she was the lady at the drive thru at Krystals and her name was Dream.. She wanted to come to the strip club with us... Do you remember?
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Randomize
