careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Hooking up with one of the deadbeat dads from Teen Mom does not qualify as banging a celebrity.
I'm wearing cowboy boots and showing way too much cleavage to be in a place with no jaeger.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
the boys lacrosse roster just went up... now we can see who we had sex with
HEAR YE, HEAR YE! BY ROYAL DECREE, I WILL BE KNOCKING ON YOUR DOOR AT 2PM UNLESS YOU GET THE FUCK UP. IT'S 1:50. CIGARETTE TIME, BITCH. I LOVE YOU.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
For both our sake, we've decided to ban watching combat sports before sex
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Randomize
