found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
i cant believe u jumped in someones trunk just to get out of talking to me
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
My mom just called and reminded me not to throw up in any cabs tonight. Happy St. Patty's Day.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Randomize