who let me buy 6 packs of big league chew? and eat them all? thats not cool
the girl sitting next to me in class is using her birth control box as a ruler
Preparing for thanksgiving at home now by chugging bourbon. Less than a month to train!
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Also, I'd like to add that that I'm not quitting my job, my boss fed me shots at 11 am this morning.
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
Dad, is it in any way illegal for me to run around throwing handfuls of lucky charms at people tomorrow?
you're kidding right?
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
NoShamevember. You game?
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
I got back and Katie was asleep holding a burrito. I woke her up and she ate it and passed back out.
Hey, I think I showed you a picture of my nephew while we were fucking last night. Sorry, I know it's weird, I just really love that kid. Again, sorry.
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
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