it makes me cry that so many people are going to see you naked someday.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
and yes i will spend 10 dollars on a vibrating toothbrush to masturbate but not a calculator for my test
He barely got in the door before she began to shriek like a banshee and punch him. His rainbow wig is still hanging from the front porch as a "warning to all other clowns".
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
You can glorify being single all you want but relationships are awesome. I haven't gone more than 24 hours without sex since June.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
I give you full permission to seriously injure me the next time I think it's a good idea to face a bottle of vodka
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Jus had a dream that I borrowed bob dylans car to save us from a pack of raptors. Pretty stoked about it.
Randomize