Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
ofcourse shes the first one pregnant. wasnt she the one who asked the middle school health teacher how many calories are in sperm?
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
You ask to touch his thighs ten times and called them magnificent.....need I say more
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
Share, now.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Dear god my vagina.
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
