and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
i'm already feeling the tequila hangover i'm going to have on friday
He ate me out on the balcony. My asian neighbors cats are judging me...ALL 3 OF THEM!!
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
So... Really random... You know we only exist cause Dad misspelled 'perseverance', right?
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
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