Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
Literally every boy I've dated is now in a somewhat successful band. My vagina has obviously been blessed by the rock gods.
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Some nights you do cocaine till 5:00 in the morning, and the next night you teach yourself how to crochet. It’s called balance.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I got paid to fuck my boss for lunch. My job is better than yours.
Randomize
