She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
No stds, not pregs, and lost two pounds. I'd call that a successful two years of grad school.
I figured, if I'm going to wear a gold cape its pretty safe to assume I'll be blacking out as well.
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
I ripped the door frame off last night too. Just remembered.
I had very briefly met him a few years ago. My friend was tired of hearing us both complain about being horny. She figured she would fuck two birds with one stone.
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
I mean, it's good for a lot of things. Just not the inside of your vagina
Well neither is bbq sauce but I dont judge kinks
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