sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
We had one of those mutual "I know your on a dating website, I won't tell if you won't" glances.
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
He asked if I wanted to leave my bra on while we were doing it from behind bc he read somewhere that all that pounding can be painful for big breasts. THAT thoughtful.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Like he legitimately was standing straight up, feet on the roof, not holding on to a moving car.
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
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