This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
We probably shouldn't have forced that guys cat to drink the grey goose while we were doing lines in his bathroom
As he was under the stripper backwards, he yelled "we should totally be facebook friends"
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
At some point you realize they're vacuuming and you still have to sober up. Please find me a boyfriend thanks .
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
I didn't punch him it was just love coming out of my fist
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
Randomize
