I almost didn't recognize her with a shirt on.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I'm not sure if I should be proud of you for having morals or disappointed in you for letting your sex life get this sad.
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
He fell asleep on top of me after sex. For 3 hours. Poor guy worked too hard.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Randomize
