Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
You were basically naked. Just covered in pink duck tape and feathers. I'd have to say this is beyond the slutty mark..
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
While we were driving she just screams from the backseat: MUMFORD AND SONS DROP THE BANJO and made what were meant to be banjo sound effects
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I just added a bunch of arbitrary options to my ouija board. Ghosts can now tell me "cheddar," "the homosexual agenda," "the whole foods vegan aisle," or "viable offspring"
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
You're not married and none of these idiots are committing to you so whore it up on whore island
Can we go to pirate hooker whore island then
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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