He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
Everytime she tries to call me all I can think about is when she tripped walking down my steps during her walk of shame. Then I laugh until it goes to voicemail
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
i just like, need to vent to someone
Can we skip the part where I pretend to care and fast forward to the appreciative blowjob from you?
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
I feel like I'm in a development meeting for a Lifetime original movie.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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