there is no way he can be that small
look on the bright side he'll over comepensate
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
??I have an official piece of documentation saying you are banned from Las Vegas.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
The highlight of the night was definitely when you starting telling ppl you could shapeshift and "proved" that by stripping.
i could only love him more if he was covered in glitter.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
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