About to do something stupid. You'll be my call. Bring bail money.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
I think my vagina is going to steal my keys and drive over there.
Hopefully she would park on my face.
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
he was having a black light party and drinking manischewitz wine out of a three foot tall trophy he stole from mcdonald's...that's when I decided it was time to leave
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Hey sorry about last night. can I come pick up my tooth?
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
I'm too depressed to drink my wine. That is what I would call a serious problem
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