Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
im glad we only fight about serious things like the hills and disney scene it
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
his mom and I have the same butterfly tramp stamp. don't ask how that came up
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I'm blazed about to take my 8am final. Another girl is too. We just looked each other in the eyes. She's my soul sister.
Don't park in the garage. I installed a stripper pole while drunk and it's kinda in the way
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Good news: I actually puked in my bathroom, the vomit from the living room was actually from someone else.
That's horrible but hilarious
I'm going to miss college.
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
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