I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
My hot gay tattoo artist grew a beard and I'm not taking it well.
Instead of saying hi she asked if she could touch your dick through your ski bib and NOW I understand why you wore it to the bars
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
Randomize
