guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
Nothing says Happy Holidays like sending a picture of your ass to the wrong manager.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
Randomize
