So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Last night was the first and hopefully last night I will ever sleep in a hotel bath tub. Sober mind you.
I'm not even gonna ask.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
My puffy vagina and I are on the way to the doctor to see what your mutant penis did to us THANKS A LOT
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
It's like Jesus got stoned and this would be the sandwiches he'd make
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Shame - the story of my life.
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