Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Randomize