His moose knuckle keeps winkin at me
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
WAKE UP!!! We have 20 minutes to get to class. That means we only have 10 minutes to get drunk.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
Randomize
