You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Trial is expected to last a fucking week if I get chosen.
To be fair, you are the kind of person I want to be on the jury when I inevitably end up in front of one.
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
She just told me she thinks she bruised her labia in class
I ate the crust off the pizza and left the rest in the box. Even I would hate me.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
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