THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
He came up and told us to watch as he chugged his beer with no hands. Then asked if he could come drunk swimming with us.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
now that I know that you did coke with your mom I can't look at her the same
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
Randomize
