We were drinking cognac with TAB. I felt like trailer park royalty.
They're making scrambled eggs at 2 in the morning... with rum
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
i just complicated the hell out of my summer by fucking him this early on
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
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