yes because when i jack off the first person i think about is christina applegate
If i could tip my vagina, i would.
Yeah dude. They were so drunk they actually drank the pool water. Which I'm pretty sure will kill them. My parents chlorine the shit out of that thing cuz they know how much sex my brothers have in it
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
i know it looks like there's pee in the mayo jar in the fridge but i promise it's just apple juice that wouldn't fit in the jug after i added the booze.
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Dude I puked in a snow bank and then fell face first into it
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Sorry, I gave half my brain to my thesis and the other half to mdma
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
