I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
oh dont worry, my liver will give out way before i get skin cancer
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
last night on the strip the guy screamed at you YOU GOTTA WORK ON YOUR CALVES.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
If you get banged by this bartender you know you can't be mad at me right? Its the rules.
Randomize
