I would like to thank collapsed soviet republics and fathers who didnt show enough attention for tonight's festivities
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I would date him. For 1 month. Just so I could say I was a trap queen for 1 month.
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
These tits shall not be calmed
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