He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
The thing about being single is like Sunday morning sex is nice but so is Sunday morning eating Nutella from the jar in your underwear
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
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