who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Randomize
