This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
Just got kicked in the balls by a girl in tap shoes. Fuck EVERYTHING
what kind of dress can i wear to my high school reunion that says "even though i'm more successful than all of you i'm still up for sex"?
I'm actually agreeing with glenn beck. What the FUCK was in that margarita?!
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
They sleep with other people as long as there is no oral. Logic and reason were thrown out the window a long time ago with them.
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
Randomize