Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
His pick up line was "your one sexy pumpkin, I'd love to carve." Why would you let me go home with him?
I was tied up in bed before noon, the rest of the day can go to hell.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
I did coke with the Royal Navy last night. God save the queen.
He said that he made a girl squirt to the ceiling and I got curious
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Randomize
