You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
someone owes me an orgasm
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
he told me i smelled like babies and pine needles and he wanted to bathe with me. new boyfriend is not a keeper
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
Randomize
