i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I wish I had my own personal Asian lady that lived under my bed so that she could wax my eyebrows and give me a pedicure whenever I wanted.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
you're asking me why i keep burn ointment in my purse.... do you really want to know the answer to that question?
Now that I'm born again, I'm preserving my gift.
Your vagina isn't a White Elephant gift. You can't re-wrap it after it's already been given several times. That's white trash thinking.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
He lasted less than 30 sec. in bed and then sent me a friend request on LinkedIn. Wtf.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Randomize
