loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
Correct me if I'm wrong, but I did not stop moving last night. If tequila gives me that extra push to have an active lifestyle, so be it.
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
She looks like a Midwestern news anchor that got fired so she has done nothing but eat for the past 6 months.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
Randomize