Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
apparently he's bringing me two things i like. he said one was him and i'm assuming the other one is his penis
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Did they have a limo or was i just stoned?
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I can't believe you broke a Paula dean wooden spoon over my ass
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Randomize
