is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
He threw up over the balcony and blamed it on an invisible garden gnome.
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
Just took my morning after pill in the library
i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
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