I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
The polish Muslims are throwin paczkis into the crowd and I'm beer 6 before 11 am
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I was in the bathroom and I heard a phone ding inside one of the stalls. I really wanted to say, nature is calling, but I was still in my work uniform
I dont have to work tomorrow im yelling gibberish at squirrels
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
I'm legitimately the first person in the United States to successfully shave their balls with a Razer Blade of a sword and fully admitt it. I'm honestly smoother then a 10 year old.
Randomize
