Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He scratched off my spray tan. Literal nail marks down my back. Can't imagine what's underneath his fingernails.
Fucked Zombie Jesus at a Halloween party. I need Plan B before I give birth to the Antichrist.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I swear to god he's making pineapple onions and cheese. He thinks he's making eggs onions and cheese
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
Randomize