I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Realistically anyone can come I don't care it's Boston what do I own boston? No. I just don't want people who are gonna give me "why are you doing that" kinda look when I take birthday shots out of my birthday babe shot glass necklace.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize