Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Theres dried jager, barbecue sauce and frie remnants all over my front seat.
My drunken abilities have only improved since college....I can navigate the streets of chicago like no ones business, do push-ups to hail a taxi and instantly become an mma fighter after 3 shots of hennessy
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
mom how many of the songs from my childhood are mexican drinking songs?
all of them.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
