God help me. Come pick me up. The guy told me this is not a hotel and i had to leave.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
