are you serious? he told me he had to cancel bc his grandma came into town
well unless his grandma is 21 and blonde, HE LIED TO YOU IDIOT
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
Idk how hard you fucked her, but you managed to leave permanent ass prints on my tempurpedic mattress.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I don't want too, lol. I'm currently awaiting my next period like its the second coming of christ
Randomize
