there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
I Never golf you the sypdu of andrew. The one o will marry. The one j plwgded my last breath up. The one I pledged everything I live forbworh to. I love him more than life itself
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
Was there a condom involved? Because he was saying he wanted a kid. Repeatedly.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
