What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
Most men with as many freckles as you aren't vagina magnets. You are an exception to your kind.
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Two of us got arrested. Gonna be delayed a bit. Save me a burger.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
But like, I don't remember getting hit with the door... I just come out from peeing and there was blood running down my face.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Randomize
