i make out with random ppl when i drink he shouldnt feel special
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
I was walking out of the bar when he said I'll see you later and I said I'll see you in my dreams and then fell face first and broke my nose
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
Randomize
