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I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
Just saw all the pictures from the party. I'm wearing a different shirt in every single one.
Selling drugs in raindeer antlers is the best way to spread christmas cheer
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
I think I left my chapstick at your house when I tried using your penis as a catapult and flung it on the floor. Be a dear, and try to see if you can find it.
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I feel like getting drunk at the airport is sort of a rite of passage into adulthood, but maybe i should reserve that occasion for a flight thats not just 1 hr
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
