do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
Its not like he dircectly choose a cheeseburger over sex, it was more like I said seductively "I really appreciate this and I'm going to make it up to you anyway I can" and he replied "i want a bacon cheeseburger"
i guess he just knew i was going to sleep with him either way
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
Softest bathroom rug I've slept on in my life, there have been many
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Yeah. Well last night I sold my shoes to a man who I'm pretty sure has a weird foot fetish for $150 cash.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
They have a shelf full of jello shots, what have i gotten myself into
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
