We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
He'll only communicate through snapchat with pictures of him holding his cat or his dick. Bit of Russian roulette opening them in public but I did it anyway.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hey! you should come over!
Who is this? The number is saved as "Sexy Awesome"
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Randomize
