do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Found your pants. They were stuffed in the tank of the toilet.
i now officially have to be stoned in order to look like my passport when i go to a different country
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
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