I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
you dont remember trying to break dance in the middle of the casino floor on ur own throw up?
oh that explains alot.
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
That's why i need nudes. Plutonic nudes.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
