Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
Randomize