just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
masturbating is 5million times harder to finish knowing grandma is in the guestroom downstairs. just so you know.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
There is a hatefuck that has the destruction level of an atom bomb raging through my viens just aching to vaporize her.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
Finals week game: One shot for every psychological trauma I've been through that I have to explain in detail. Man I hate my major sometimes.
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Girl in front of me just swan dove into the middle of the carpeted hallway, stood up, clapped for herself, and then continued walking. My life is complete.
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
Randomize
